The Publish Son of Incognitos’ Typescripts Contest

The astute reader of The Return of Son of Incogneato’s Complete Profile (we know who you are) will have noted the somewhat dubious writing unpublished novels in the interests section. No, this is not a new fiction genre – not by a long shot – but the astute & curious reader might wonder a bit about what exactly this self-deprecating little snippet is supposed to mean.
In the first place, I’m uncertain if the phrase writing unpublished novels is a non sequitur. Does a manuscript have to be published to be considered a novel? But then writing unpublished manuscripts would be equally incorrect as a manuscript is inherently unpublished; had it been published it would then be properly referred to as a novel. This leads me to wonder if I should correct the phrase to writing unpublished things, except that really doesn’t have much Schwung to it, does it? Unpublished stuff is no better.
Fear not astute reader; I have a solution. Somebody must publish this material. Then it, the stuff, would cross that hallowed threshold and enter the golden realm of Novelhood, and all would be well.
With this in mind I hereby announce the Publish Son of Incognitos’ Typescripts Contest. It’s really quite easy. You, the esteemed participant, find an agent/publisher willing to print Son of Incogneato’s writings in a solid, commercial form. A Book. The first one to get me in print wins. If you manage to get both my things published you win an extra wonderful prize to be decided at a later date. NB: actual, bona fide agents/publishers are more than welcome to participate. In fact we encourage them to.
Certainly it would be helpful if the contestants could actually read the thing(s) that they will be attempting to foist on the publishing world. That, unfortunately, doesn’t work. If the thing(s) go up on the net, they will have been published and then no real agent/publisher will be interested. Fear not; I have a solution. I can publish a facsimile of the thing(s) cover(s). And as everyone certasinly knows, you can always judge a book by its cover. For the truly inspired and driven participant, an email requesting examples of the stuff might bear fruit.
So – let’s get out there and get to work! Remember, time is of the essence. Contestees around the globe will be working day and night trying to get Son of Incognitos’ typescripts published. Don’t be left behind.
Btw – my humble apologies to M.C. Esher for borrowing his drawing, Schlangen. I couldn’t help myself.